Walk like an Australian: the “Dos” and “Don’ts” of blending in

As my time in Australia gradually flies by faster and faster, I decided it might be a good idea to compile a list of how to walk, talk, drink, eat, and act like an Australian. Here's my "Dos" and "Donts"for blending in in Australia: 

Do – walk on the left side of the sidewalk. Cars drive on the left side, so naturally society also walks and passes people on the left side.

Don’t – assume cars will stop for you. Ever.  Cars have right of way and will often speed up if they see you trying to cross in front of them.

Do – Step out of your comfort zone. A lot of thrill seekers flock to Australia because of the many opportunities to partake in high-risk activity. My one friend Sarah went shark diving with her father when he came to visit. Most of my friends here have bungee jumped and several are going skydiving this weekend. It's a great place to bring out your adventurous side.

Don’t – believe in drop bears. Australians will frequently tell non-australians about these horrible creatures that look like possums with bushy tails that drop out of trees and attack people, going for their eyes first. I’ve lived here for three months and have been scared every time I hear rustling in the trees above me. I just found out last week they do not exist. It's one big nationally accepted prank on foreigners.

Don’t – get offended when someone asks if every high school is like what’s seen in Gossip Girl or if you’re a cast member of The Jersey Shore. I’ve been asked both, and the latter seems laughable because I am the polar opposite of an orange, gelled, steroid-popping, fist-pumping, Ed-Hardy-wearing Italian American, but you have to expect some silly questions like this on rare occasion.

Don’t – order a “light” beer. This is a rookie move made by many of us on our first night out in Australia. “Light” does not equal “better for you” in Australia like it does in the US, but rather “less alcohol content" (See: O’Doul’s).

Do – call the bathroom the toilets. I think it sounds crude and blunt, but it saves you from confusing a local when asking where the “restroom” is located.

Don’t - ask about Steve Irwin. He was more of an American thing and it would be as annoying as someone asking if you’re a fan of Jerry Springer.

Do – respond to “Aussie! Aussie! Aussie” with “Oi! Oi! Oi!” Always.

Don’t – refer to it as the outback. No one will have any idea where you’re going.

Don’t – order ketchup. Order “tomato sauce”

Do – Celebrate Anzac Day by going to the big footy game. Anzac Day is Australia's Veteran's Day. It's not the Queen's birthday, but I seemed to be the only one that caught that little bit of misinformation.

Don’t – respond to “How are you going?” by pointing in the direction you’re headed. Simply reply, “Good!"

Do – Drink cider if you’re a female. Apparently women in Australia rarely drink beer, so a woman doing so almost definitely pegs her as a foreigner.

Don’t – Eat peanut butter and jelly. I never knew this was an “American thing” until a group of Australians were repulsed by me eating this in our communal kitchen. It’s about as foreign and disgusting to them as vegemite on toast is to us.

Do – start saying “no worries” – a lot. You will never hear an Australian respond to “thank you” with “you’re welcome,” but rather, “It’s alright,” which kind of makes you feel like you’re putting them out, but most commonly, “no worries!”

Do – run from any and all spiders and snakes. Australia is home to the world’s top ten deadliest animals and besides jellyfish, almost all of these other creatures are insects and amphibians.

Don’t – Carry pepper spray. Going to school in Baltimore, I’ve always had pepper spray in my car, purse and desk drawer. Naturally, coming to Australia I brought my supply. I just found out last week that pepper spray is highly illegal here and has just been made alright for police to carry it. If you are found with pepper spray you can be arrested on the spot for possessing an illegal weapon. Good thing I carried it through three different Australian airport securities before finding this out.

Do – learn the drinking chants. Australians have tons of chants they will sing out in bars and pubs that either single a person out to drink or that promote everyone to drink together, but either way they’re of good nature, are a lot of fun, and, everyone knows and sings them all the time. Our all time favorite one goes: “Here’s to [insert target’s name] he/she’s true blue, he/she’s a pisspot through and through, he/she’s a bastard so they say, he/she tried to go to heaven but they went the other way, they went down! Down! Down!” – at which point “Down” will be repeated until the target’s drink has been finished.

Don’t – call it chugging, double-fisting or pre-gaming. Australian’s refer to these terms respectively as skulling, double-parking, and pre-drinking. Also, a case of beer is a "slab," a pitcher is a "jug,"and the liquor store is the "bottle shop"

Do – watch out for “swooping magpies” – these birds will literally dive bomb attack you if you have anything shiny on you.

Do – become a raging sports fanatic. Sports here are probably one of the biggest aspects of Australian culture and are thought of when defining the make up of the identity of Australia. Sports are used to bring society and the nation as a whole together, to celebrate and commemorate different holidays, and to ignite a sense of unity and community.

Don’t – be offended or taken off guard by the loose and common use of profanity. Swearing is extremely common and accepted in Australia, but it’s not in an angry way, it’s just incorporated in normal conversation. People will very nonchalantly and publicly refer to each other by the C-word, and my professors drop the F-bomb in most classes.

Do – Begin calling McDonald’s “Maccah’s” and Burger King "Hungry Jacks." Sidenote: I don't eat fast food in the states... It is divine here.

Do – incorporate words such as, dodgy, keen, and quintessential into your vocabulary. Also, the term, “Good as,” as in “You went to that concert? It was good as.” Good as what? I’m not so sure. Just say it.

I’m not saying lose yourself, your identity, nationality, heritage and culture by any means... I’m just saying by following these tips you can almost fully blend in as a local. Although maybe a local with a funny accent, of course.